Moving forward

I've taken a little bit of time off from my blog recently to really think about how I want to move forward.

You see, I've been feeling a bit stuck lately. Stuck between the part of me that still wants to fit into all that smaller stuff I packed away a few weeks ago and the part that has just recently bought a whole heap of clothes that fit me now.

Stuck between the person who has radically transformed my relationship with food and my body and the person who knows I still have a way to go - I'm not quite there yet.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I'm looking pretty good, other times I really wish I did not have that roll of fat around my waist - it just makes everything sit wrong!

I have made great inroads into accepting myself more and I've been branching out with my fashion choices, it feels good to wear dresses and skirts (and bare my legs!) now that the weather is warming up - I will not spend another summer hiding myself in jeans, or wearing full length leggings under all my skirts! I've been wearing more makeup and having lots of fun dressing up and curling my hair - it feels good!

Still, because I have been focusing so much on clothes and how I look I feel that I've lost focus of what it was that lead me down this path in the first place, and that is what I think has been derailing me a little bit. What I'm really trying to achieve is a healthy relationship with food and my body and to be happy, healthy and fit.

I saw and heard a couple of things this week that really helped me to clarify my goals again. The first one was this infographic from Precision Nutrition.

It's one of those things that you can take what you like and leave what you don't from. But I just thought this was one of the more balanced pieces of information I had seen on what it really takes to achieve a really lean physique.

For me - I'm not a particularly big fan of the way it seems to suggest you can basically just dial in your body fat percentage, I also didn't like the reference to being able to reduce or eliminate medications - for some people this is just not possible no matter how fit and healthy they are, and that is ok! I alway use my husband in this example - he is a healthy weight and ran two marathons this year but still takes blood pressure medication - it's just one of those things.

However, the things I did like about if far outweighed those that I didn't. I loved the really really wide range of behaviours and eating styles that were represented as being "healthy". I liked the focus on other aspects of lifestyle such as sleep and eating slowly.

What I also loved was the focus on trade-offs and also the bit at the bottom that spoke about choosing your goals and also choosing what you are willing to do and also not willing to do. I just don't know that I've ever seen it represented like this. The diet and fitness industry seems to sell the message that we all should be willing to do whatever it takes to get a "bikini body" or a six pack. Whereas I feel like this graphic is saying - it's ok if you are not willing to give up friday night drinks, you can still be happy and healthy. We all have different priorities and goals and that is ok!

The best bit - the focus towards the end on what it takes to get that "cover model" look - lots of micromanaging of food and exercise and often a bit of help from photoshop! It also highlights the fact that even body builders really only look like this on competition day, by manipulating their carbohydrate and fluid intake in the days before the comp.

I think a set of guidelines like this can be really helpful for people who have a history of disordered eating instead of wandering around in the dark.

The other thing that gave me a bit of a wake up was seeing was an "off season" photo shoot two fitness models had posted on Facebook where they spoke about being insecure about people seeing them like that, and overhearing a lady speak about how she hates looking at herself in the mirror since having a baby. I just thought, it shouldn't be like this. We should be celebrating post-baby bodies for the miracle of life they created, we should be celebrating off-season bodies for the gains we are making that we can show of when competition time rolls around around. We should be celebrating ALL bodies for the awesome vehicles they are, not for what they look like in the mirror.

So - where to from here. I'm going to get back in touch with my original goals - happy, healthy and fit. I'm going to actually start following those healthily life goals I set myself a few weeks ago and also using the guidelines around the 23-25% body fat percentage in the Precision Nutrition graphic to guide my eating - not because I am hoping to get to that body fat percentage, but because I think they are realistic and balanced guidelines for a mere mortal like me!

It feels good to have renewed focus and calmness again - I've been floating around in the dark and not taking great care of myself lately. I'm looking forward to feeling good again!