Ever since I was a little girl I've always been frightened to the point of paralysis of activities where I perceive there is a risk of getting hurt or even dying (I'm melodramatic, I know!). I hated going on rides as a kid, I've lost count of the number of times my dad tried to teach me how to abseil but I just never could take the step off the ledge. I remember a year seven camp where I must have gotten in and out of the harness for the flying fox about 20 times before I finally did it - all of the other kids just launched themselves off the first time! I think this boils down to having a bit of a problem with trusting my body and not being in control.
As I've gotten older, the fear has faded a bit - I love going on rides now as long as they don't involve a free fall - I still hate that feeling! but it is still with me. The thing is nowadays I recognise the opportunity for growth that can exist in pushing past that fear and showing yourself what your body and/or your mind is actually capable of.
By now, you'll know that I'm an advocate of participating in physical activity, but that I believe you should do something that you enjoy. I think if that thing is also something that pushes your boundaries a bit it's a great opportunity to grow and to focus on some goals that might involve your body, but are not dependent on weight loss. For me two such activities are Taekwondo and Skiing.
I started doing Taekwondo at Push Women's Only Taekwondo Centre just over a year ago and it's been such a positive experience! I'd always been curious about martial arts, and the women's only environment creates a really safe space. Our instructor Michelle is an amazing teacher and all round inspiration and the rest of the women are all so supportive and encouraging.
The big challenge for me so far came early on when we first started practicing sparring - we wear shields but it's still pretty confronting to be repeatedly kicked by someone even if you are able to kick them back! I was really intimidated and after the second time I actually started crying when I got in the car to go home!! I will admit, I was tempted to quit after that, but everything else was so much fun I kept going and after each time it got less and less difficult. I'm still not 100% comfortable but I'm getting there. I've generally been someone who shy's away from confrontation so it's been good for me to go on the attack! I've noticed that this has translated to increased assertiveness in other areas of my life which is an empowering thing.
The sparring in particular is also quite physically demanding and this has provided me with a non-weight related reason to work towards increasing my fitness.
I've included a couple of photos from my gradings where I achieved my yellow and blue belts - I think the smile says it all! The sense of achievement is such an awesome thing. Can't wait for that black belt!
I learnt to ski about 8 years ago and there has been quite a number of tears along the way - yes I am a crier! However, nothing beats the feeling of becoming really comfortable on a slope that once seemed daunting or getting to the bottom of a new slope for the first time. Below is a photo of me from last weekend - you can see I now go so fast that I set the snow on fire!
I've gotten to the point where my skill level is pretty good - but the fear is really holding me back, I know that to get better I'm going to have to take that next step to some harder slopes but I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to do it. I have made a promise to myself that the next time I go skiing I'm going to try a black run - so now that I've committed publicly I'm going to have to do it!! Skiing is one activity where I feel like my weight really doesn't matter - it's strength and stamina that makes the difference and again wanting to become better on the slopes is something that drives me to improve my fitness.
Both of these activities are things that really get me in touch with and grounded in my body and have given me a new appreciation of it. This is why I think it can be good to do something challenging - When you really have to work with and use your body to achieve something you have to be "in" it. When you overcome your fear and achieve something you didn't think you could you become grateful for the body that allowed that to happen. You become braver, stronger and prouder and you start to believe in yourself. What's not to love about that.
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