Moving towards intuitive eating - What has worked for me

I’ve read quite a few books on intuitive/mindful approaches to eating over the years – some good one’s, if you are interested are

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

If not dieting, then what? by Dr. Rick Kausman

Women Food and God by Geneen Roth

You can probably guess that, given the number of books I’ve read on the subject, I was never able to successfully implement this approach in my life until now, and even then, it’s still very much a work in progress.

I believe that the problem is that in the past I was always looking at this approach as another way to loose weight, and some of these books are even written with that familiar promise. Whilst I think it’s true that many people who have issues with compulsive overeating and binging are sitting above their natural weight, I’ve come to think that a focus on a weight loss outcome is really counterproductive to healing your relationship with food.

For me weight loss has always meant food restriction, and for me food restriction always leads to binging. When I read these books years ago I just didn’t believe that I could eat what I wanted when I wanted and loose weight. I didn’t trust my body. I didn’t know what it was to really listen to its messages. I also thought that when I started eating what I wanted when I wanted I would just keep eating and eating and eating, and I was terrified of getting any bigger than I already was.

For intuitive eating to work for me I had to learn to accept myself as I am. I had to let go of the goal weight I’ve had in my head all of my adult life. I had to accept that maybe in the process of getting well I would gain some weight as I worked my way to a more balanced approach to eating and exercise.

When I first decided to give up dieting at the beginning of the year, I did gain weight, because I was still binging. I believe now that I was still binging because I still believed that one day the restriction was going to have to come. Even when I signed up for group therapy I still believed that the recommendation to not try to actively loose weight through the process of recovery did not apply to be. I was determined that by the end of the program I would be lighter.

Well, I am lighter – but not in the way I expected. It all clicked into placed for me my first week of group, when the message was put across very firmly (but compassionately), that the aim of the group is not weight loss, and that attempts at weight loss would set back our progress. I decided that maybe it was time I trusted a new approach. I went home and hid my scales in the cupboard and have not stood on them since.

Once I let go of the weight loss goal, the binging stopped pretty much overnight. I’m now just slowly (sometimes it feels like crawling, or learning to walk!) working my way to a more balanced way of eating that feels good for me.

If you are interested in giving it a go, here are some reassurances, tips and tricks I have picked up along the way:

-       Get comfortable with your current weight, I’m not saying it will never change, but for now accept that it is what it is

-       You might eat more “fun” foods than usual at the start if this is something that has been very restricted before – don’t freak out!

-       You won’t just keep eating and eating and eating – I promise

-       Sometimes you will crave chocolate, sometimes you will crave vegetables – yes really!! Especially if the balance has been tipped a bit too far in chocolate’s favour

-       Practice mindful eating – eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. Make the time and space to practice eating in a quiet, calm place with no distractions so you can really get in tune with your bodies signals

-       Keep a food diary, even if just for a couple of weeks – no calorie (or other) counting!! Instead write done how hungry you were before and after eating, and anything else that is relevant, thoughts, feelings etc.

-       Pack more food for your day than you think you will need, keep some emergency snacks in your desk drawer at work – this can help prevent a “hungry” day from turning into a binge day

-       Surround yourself with body positivity – there are lots of blogs and Facebook pages out there to drown out all the other crap in your newsfeed

-       Start doing some exercise you enjoy

-       Don’t give up. Change is hard and scary sometimes, it’s also so worth it.

-       Love yourself, be kind and patient

-       Learn to deal with difficult thoughts and feelings in a way that doesn’t involve eating – The Happiness Trap, by Dr Russ Harris is a great resource for this

-       If you are struggling, consider getting some professional help, this can be invaluable!