What are you really hungry for?

I’ve always been an inquisitive person. It seems I was born asking “why am I here?” and “what is my purpose?” I’ve read the Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy and the answer “42” just didn’t cut it for me.

All of this questioning and wondering has lead to a lot of self-evaluation and also self-doubt over the years. In high school I rejected the teachings of organised religion and pursued the sciences instead. For a number of years I wanted to be an astronomer – I thought maybe I’d find the answer in the stars until I realised how much math and physics was involved! I settled for a degree in Chemistry instead.

Still I spent my twenties searching. I’ve been on spiritual quests, but mostly this shows up nowadays in my career path. I’m searching for “the job” that is going to make everything fall into place for me. I’ve changed jobs a number of times, I’ve started and then dropped out of uni degrees and other courses. Despite making quite a comfortable life for myself with much to be thankful for, I’ve not been able to settle, I’m restless.

In group on Saturday we talked about ways to prevent binging using “the D’s”, the main ones being Do (something else), Delay, Deal (with the emotions/problem behind the urge) and Distract. We started to talk about asking ourselves “what am I really hungry for?” when we are feeling the urge to binge. I started talking about this eternal quest that I seem to be on and I had a realisation –

I think I’ve been using food to fill the space where I feel “the answers” should be

Realising this has been a bit of a game changer for me. Nobody has all the answers, so why am I so desperate for them? Why do I let cause me so much anxiety and prevent me from being happy? I decided that I’m going to try and settle for a while and see how that works – because life is pretty good! I’m going to try and stop filling the void with food and stop worrying about the future and instead focus on the present. I’m going to fill my life with family, friends, travel, laughter, blogging, getting healthy, meditating, colouring in, being my best at work and living a vibrant life. Sounds like a good alternative to me!

If binging is a problem for you I would encourage you to have a think about the question “what am I really hungry for?” next time you get the urge to binge. The answer might be something simple like "a hug" or "a good cry" or it could be something bigger - either way it could give you lots of useful information on the things you could be doing instead.