I've been obsessed with my body weight and appearance for years - I was teased for being "fat" even when I wasn't and I went on my first diet when I was about 14. I've been on the diet/binge cycle ever since.
None of this made me happy, and, whilst I have lost a large amount of weight a few times, I never got to the magical goal weight that I've carried around in my head for my whole life. All dieting ever made me was depressed and fatter. Over the years my eating habits have become more and more disordered. At the beginning of this year I decided that maybe it was time I tried something different - What would happen if I gave up dieting all together and instead learned to love myself, to listen to what my body was telling me, to be happy and healthy? The journey towards that is what this blog is about.
I didn't come to this realisation on my own, whilst searching on the internet for information about the latest fad diet I was following I came across Go Kaleo - an amazing woman who advocates a pretty simple philosophy called "Eating the food". I started reading about the Health at Every Size movement. I fell in love with The Militant Baker, a true body love warrior woman. I became inspired by all these amazing women and I also became angry - angry at a society that encourages women to "be less" and tells us that we can't be happy with who we are unless we meet a certain ideal body shape and size.
Free from the "diet" mentality, I started to eat, and eat - advocates of non-dieting approaches will tell you that a certain period of overeating is expected when transitioning away from restrictive eating and food rules, but that this should normalise over time. I think the thing that was holding me back was that I still believed that one day the party would have to be over - I was still obsessed with the number on the scale.
A couple of months ago, I joined a binge eating group therapy program run by the amazing women at Body Positive Australia, and I decided to put the scales away and really shift my focus towards self acceptance, health and activism.
The decision has been life changing for me. In starting this blog I'm hoping I can give something back to the community that led me down this path. If I can inspire just one person to love themselves a bit more I'll be happy.
Change your focus - self acceptance is a powerful thing!
